Hooray! Got everything working (that I know of) in the new kernel.
m13b@linux:~$ uname -a
Linux linux 2.6.4 #3 SMP Thu Mar 18 10:01:52 EST 2004 i686 unknown unknown GNU/Linux
Looks like I was missing the kernel module for my network card before. Oops.
Very nice. Unfortunately, I got it done so early in the day I’m going to have to think of other interesting things to do with this thing.