For Christmas, along with a smattering of DVDs and a few nice articles of clothing, I got a copy of the Stewart O’Nan & Steven King collaboration, Faithful from my wife, in which these two Red Sox fans “chronicle the historic 2004 season”. I tried to read it, but got discouraged by O’Nan’s tirelessly dry play-by-play of what seemed to be every single game, so I put it down.
Over the weekend, Laura came home from a trip to the library with the unabridged CD version of the book. She thought it might be fun if I listened to it on my two hour per day commute. I was getting tired of the CDs in the glovebox, and was excited to give it a shot. Last night, I got up to disc five of the fifteen disc set and, again, called it quits.
O’Nan is just as boring spoken aloud as he is to read. In addition to recording the minutia of every damn game — yes, even the Spring Training ones — he also can’t stop talking about all of the batting practice balls he collects. He even brings a net with a ten foot telescopic arm with him to Fenway. How many fucking souvenirs does this chump need?
And then there’s King. His segments have a conversational tone, talking about the team in more general terms and what it is, to him, to be a Sox fan. This is good. Unfortunately, he tends to get off track. At one point, King lists all of the Red Sox sponsors, and continues to mention their commercials throughout the book. Why? I haven’t a clue. It can’t be posterity, so he must have some kind of contract with Foxwoods Casino and that goddamn Aflac duck.
I only listened through to about the middle of May, but it was enough. Any curiosity that I had about their reactions to the Nomar trade or the postseason quickly dissipated, and I couldn’t take another disc’s worth.
Honestly, I don’t know who this book is for, besides O’Nan and King themselves. Perhaps introducing it to an editor with a large red pen would help, but as is, it’s dreadful.
m13b - journal September 7th, 2006 at 10:23 am
[...] Been listening to Stephen King’s latest, Cell in the car this week. I’m about half way through it, and it’s better than I had thought. (Then again, the last book I listened to by him was the horrid Faithful.) Told ya cell phones makes you crazy. [...]